Soul Planning Is In Everything

In all the ways my love for Scott has pushed me to grow… whether I wanted to grow, or did not care about growing… it came. Yes. It could not be stopped. I now know everything is soul planned…including that growth and seeing more…in our grief…during our grief…and beyond our grief.

As an example I share this…with love…because it is about growth…and Scott.

My love for Scott has brought me the knowing that he never really left. His body, yes…that part of him I cuddled, nurtured, loved unconditionally as a baby,  toddler, a pre-schooler…and yes…forever hugs and kisses throughout every year of his life.  I have cards and notes from Scott that are covered in his hand written XOX’s. Precious gifts… Oh yes. Our love to one another in XOX’s is imprinted on my heart.

And so when I saw a jet creating an X one evening in a clear blue sky as I walked on our wonderful bike and hike trail, I was stunned to see what it became. The sun was ever so bright and as I looked up following the jet trail, vapor trail, as I call it now….the sun and the X were now side by side. I gasped! Yes, I was watching a sign being created in the sky, right before my eyes! The X…and with the sun as the O…were brilliantly being shown to me.

Exhilaration!

I literally had to stand there and take it all in. An XO in the sky!  Scott, Nature (one of his loves), and ME. Was anyone else seeing this?? Did anyone need it like I did? Was it just for me?  At that point all that mattered was it was happening!  I knew it was a sign…a profound connection with Scott on the most personal level. It was mine. Yep. Mine. XO! I reveled in my own happy, excited, “This is crazy!” way.

As I neared my car I saw the most astonishing part of this experience. On the last leg of my walk I could not see the XO in the sky because of the trees, so I hurried to get to the parking lot to take it all in. GASP!  When I got to the lot I witnessed a jet making the last downward stroke to cross the second X. What I saw then was complete…  XOX

So clearly a sign from Scott. Absolutely unforgettable…and perfectly perfect in all ways!

Why do I share this with you?

It was, in fact, also a lesson. A lesson from Scott that clearly said…”I am here. I see you. I know where you are. I love you. You are not alone.”

It was soul planned.

Planned before Scott and I were born? Yes.

If you’ve been reading our blogs at Death Teaches, you know this summer our writing has concentrated on teaching you about soul planning. Because your understanding about this planning can help you see more in your own grief, in your love for your child, your loved ones….and their love for you.

We share that nothing is random…even death. We all will leave this earth…and we cannot not know when or even how (much of the time). 

We are born…and unknown to us in the body…the life as we planned it before we were born begins.

The XOX’s we share are a part of this too…the signs, vivid dreams, messages, feeling a presence, seeing more…are all soul planned too. They are specific to us and our loved ones, our children…to guide us into greater knowing.

My eyes were opened widely through the signs and all from Scott….opened into the knowing that he was here in ways I could never have imagined. And even in quieter moments, through epiphanies, what I learned were not coincidences (because there are none), in trusting I was being guided, and being shown more. All soul planned to take me on this spiritual journey. Who best to do this with me, for me?  Scott.

Your child too? Your children? Your spouse, mother, father, sibling, friend…others?

YES.

They, in Spirit, have brought you here to this blog, that I write WITH Scott. They want us here…we need to be here. We are learning…and growing…stretching our minds with the greater knowing of a much BIGGER picture of life and death.

Trusting the words of Scott as I do…and wanting you to feel the  inner peace I feel with his connection, I ask you to do one thing today… Open your heart up and speak to your loved one…ask for their guidance…even if you did that this morning…

Can it be different today…because it is meant to be?  Can you ask for a sign and get one just like that? Maybe…or maybe you need to just be open today and WAIT for your loved one, child in Spirit to bring you what you need, when you need it. That is the beauty of the new relationship we have…it is up to them…because they KNOW what we need. Can you trust them? Be patient and trust they will come?  No matter how long it has been…since you heard from them?

So what is your part in this? Trust, patience, opening up to the soul planned life you share, accepting that this is really out of our control…

Scott shares this…

The love and guidance we bring is to help you on your journey… If you are reading still…you must feel we might help you see or understand more. Sara/ Mom learned this years ago…as she looked for guidance from those knowing more than she…and the teachers were there for her. Look for that in everyone around you and ask yourself…What are you teaching me? Whether it comes from a book, a friend, an online class, a Facebook post, a counselor, a sign, a dream, or us. The teachers are all around you. Open your heart, your mind, your eyes to the possibilities and see what may come.

Til next time,

Love,

Sara and Scott

XOX

Showing 41 comments
  • Carolyn tuccio
    Reply

    I needed this blog today.. It is so true about the signs. When I get them from my grandson Matthew I feel such comfort. I still miss his physical body and I don’t think that will ever go away. I believe his job on earth was done even though he was only 20 years old for he gave such love to all who knew him and I know that I still don’t see the big picture yet, but I will keep searching. Thanks

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      I trust the timing with all that Scott/Spirit brings us Carolyn. We are ready to know more about the signs and how soul planning with our children and loved ones continue to connect us. Magical and real. They are our teachers… xox

  • Sally
    Reply

    ? Thank you I really enjoy reading your posts! My sons name is Scott also and I do believe he guides me on this journey.

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      No coincidences Sally… 🙂 Thanks for sharing. xox

  • Sally
    Reply

    Actually my sons full name was Michael Scott and we always just called him Scott. I see your son is Scott Micheal, ?

  • Roselyn
    Reply

    So one of the first “signs” was a hawk flying low as I cried and banged my head against my back porch window. I live in an urban place. Never saw a hawk before in our neighborhood. My neighbor saw the gawk the next day and told me she thought if Nuck. I had not to,d her yet that I saw it the day prior.
    And then X contrails. Overhead, one that made an X through the sun as I was hysterical lying on my back praying for guidance and comfort.
    X formations in other cities, hawk sightings in other cities, states.
    And I pray
    And lately am thankful. I hold my hands out, to Gid, the universe and am thankful for these signs …I must believe, I do most of the time.
    Thank you for giving me hope and respite from thus…I trust in the power of love.

    • Roselyn
      Reply

      Nick. And God. Misspelled crying so hard I cannot see
      Peace

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      Thank you for sharing Roselyn. The powerful emotions we feel with the signs and connection open us to to the love from beyond. To share what we see and know is so powerful too. Continue to reach out to Nick. He will show you more. It’a all about love, trust, and opening us up to the bigger picture.
      I love that we share the contrails signs! xox

      • Roselyn
        Reply

        Yes. The contrails and so much more
        Love to you
        Thank you

        • Sara Ruble
          Reply

          Thank you for sharing that Roselyn! Ask for his guidance… Your awareness is growing. xox

  • Nancy Caughlin
    Reply

    Beautiful words today from you and Scott……..what a wonderful story!

    Nancy

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      Thank you Nancy. Signs like the XOX sign are the love we can still see and feel. They allows us to find balance in the midst of the chaos of our grief. We so need that. xox

  • Scotty
    Reply

    I know this also. And I choose to believe it. Our beliefs grow out of our thoughts, those ideas that we’ve read about from multiple sources and repeated to ourselves over & over again feeling the comfort they give.
    My son, Tucker, is with me whenever I turn to him in my mind & heart. He is also guiding & directing me to the truth that it is only his body that gave way to cancer.
    I so appreciate your writing about this. For who else can understand or even want to look at these issues? I didn’t want to before my life changed. And changed for the better. It’s hard to say that because of course I would give anything to hug my son again. But I can & do talk to him, sharing those ideas as we did before.
    So thank you!

    By the way, have you heard of the Death Cafe movement? It sounds like a valuable social learning experience. To take this inevitable fact of life out of the closet to be made more openly discussed and hopefully more comfortable. I’m going to check it out. They say it’s not a grief group but open to those who want to discuss this tabu topic. Any thoughts?

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      Thank you for writing Scotty. When we know this connection IS real and we go beyond to grasp the deeper meaning, we are brought a new view on death. For you and Tucker, like Scott and me, and many others…we see more. We must still do the hard grief work because that is what pushes us to grow as well. Thanks you always for sharing.
      I have heard of the Death Cafe’s. It is a fascinating concept. The more we talk about death, rather than avoid it, the greater the understanding. I hope they continue to open up hearts and minds. xox

      • Roselyn
        Reply

        I want to continue that concept. We talk about a place(s) we can go to hand, eat, read, present etc. and comfort food , soup Mac and cheese
        And positive too, hopeful as we commune
        I wish we could
        I wish I had the resources.

  • Lainey MacArthur
    Reply

    I have been watching every day on you site for a new post – and I read it this morning. Since I am early in my grief journey (my son Chris left this earth on Dec. 8th from cancer), I am still on that roller coaster of emotions…..longings…sadness…but also beautiful signs. Even with the signs I still doubt – I think because the missing and longing is so intense and the whys…however, I am actively seeking almost grasping for validation and hope and trying to strengthen my faith and believe and not doubt that my Chris is with me. Death makes us question so much and creates that empty space that can be filled with hope and expansion and that is what I am trying so hard for. I am praying for faith and comfort and guidance, and I DO believe Chris lead me to this sight for comfort and peace. Thank you Sara. I want so badly to believe that I WILL see my precious son again. If I can believe that, and know that he is still with me in spirit, then I can get through all of this somehow. Thanks for your blog, and thank you so much for letting me share my story too. Love and belssings, Lainey

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      Trust Lainey…that keeps us going until we have a clearer view of all that has come. This journey pushes us where we need to go, see, feel, learn, and everything in between. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and challenges. You help others as you share. We will keep writing…there IS more. Love to you… XOX

  • Barbara J Hopkinson
    Reply

    Beautiful, just beautiful. Thank you Mitch!

  • Renee
    Reply

    I lost My Son tragically 1 yr & 16 days ago. I never knew what emptiness felt like until I lost my baby even though he was 23 yrs old. We had a bond that was inseparable. He was my bodyguard & I being his protector. I wanna open up & see some signs from my son, in which I do some times more often than others. Walking this journey is soooo hard, yet I know because of him giving me his mighty strength along with having another son that 4 yrs old, with my 1 grandson that was born after my son passed to find out I have another grandson that my son or I knew nothing about! Not knowing where this leads me in my life, I just wish sooo much that my son was here physically to be here with his sons & brother to show them the way.

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      Yes Renee…I understand. This is all hard, and in all reality that pain and missing forces us to look for help, for answers. It’s so good you are getting signs from your son. You know he is there… Keep reading and listening. You’ll see more in time. xox

  • Laurie Roach
    Reply

    I needed this as well. The morning I found my son had passed from sepsis, in his bed I hated God. I felt he just was punishing our beautiful family…my mind raced, what had we done to deserve this. I simply can’t explain the blessing from all over who knew my son, Michael! However, the morning we were to go to his high school so be could wear his football tie for his viewing, it was storming. We live in Arizona, I don’t see much rain but Michael loved it. I ran outside to my parents back yard as everyone was posting rainbows, Michael was smiling on them. I yelled through the backyard, pleading for one. Nothing. Later that morning, leaving his school in tears, right in front of his father and I was the most beautiful, vibrant rainbow. I asked everyone if they saw it to. It was marked in a spot that meant something to Mike and I. I caught a picture…one of my all time favorites!

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      Thank you for sharing that wonderful sign/message from Michael, Laurie. So bold and beautiful! I always encourage others to write down the signs, every perfect detail. Even though you will never forget that moment, it is wonderful to see your written words and feelings of that profound experience! xox

  • Sharon Andrew
    Reply

    I lost my Husband Larry to cancer on June 3 of this year. We have been married for 36 years. I would love th see a sign from him. My hearts breaks. Our girls are grown and living all alone is difficult . I know God doesn’t make mistakes but can’t understand how he took my soul mate. I will be rolling your blog. Praying for a sign .

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      Dear Sharon,
      In time, in time, the signs will come. Our deep love connects us in ways we could never have imagined. On this soul journey we learn that life is unpredictable and yet shows us so much more… Trust in what you know…and I’m sure you will see that. xox

  • Paula Remme
    Reply

    Oh Sara and Scott…. how i love everything you share. Thank you. I have always written .. xox… to my kids. Your sign had special meaning to me today also.
    Luke is smiling from the sweet heavens sending me xox’s all the time.
    thank you. xox

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      Thank you Paula and thank you for sharing. Yes…Luke IS smiling… 🙂 xox

  • cYnthia Morton
    Reply

    Sara, I am so happy that you have found your “comfort” with Scott. Everytime you see an XO it is YOUR son. I know this because my son is a Hawk. He is always with us. YouR SCOT will show up all over the place. A lot of times, just when you need him. Always smile, and know its Scott.’

    I always know that my Hawk is with me most days. Even my neighbor said to me…”Cynthia, do you know there is a Hawk in your yard all the time!” I just smiled and said I know and see it (HIM) daily. Its a comfort thing……..you will see your XO constantly………..it can be your secret, or tell the world. We are so lucky you have our boys with us. My family all knows, and believes because my Dad is a Cardinal and my Mom, a yellow bird. It is our ‘TRUTH” …..

    GOD BLESS YOU, and GOD BLESS YOUR little XO….Scott.
    Keep an open mind, and you will be amazed!

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      I love that you know the hawk is a sign from your son Cynthia. They are bold and beautiful birds! So wonderful your parents come to you as well. It helps so much…to know it is them. Thank you for sharing. xox

  • Vicki
    Reply

    Sara, once again, thank you for your inspiration, your love, your insight. I recently reread all of the emails you and I exchanged and realized what a blessing you have been to me through this journey. Through you, and Scott, and Trey, and Chris I have found a new bonding in this journey with Lainey!!!! I am thankful for her and hopeful that we can be there for each other for many, many years. I do believe Lainey son Chris are so much alike that they brought us together…….thank you, love. My prayers are with you daily……

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      I’m so happy you and Lainey have met Vicki…so good! New friendships at this time are so, so important. I’m grateful we met too…through the Angel of Hope Children’s Memorial and are now connected in this way. Love to you! xox

  • Daisy Dongieux
    Reply

    Wow Sara how beautiful this is. Thank you for sharing

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      So nice to hear from you Daisy! I’m glad we got to spend some time together at The Compassionate Friends conference. I hope you’ll continue to read our blog. I think you’ll find more to help you here. Be well… xox

  • Joy
    Reply

    Sara-I really needed this message today. After feeling so close to Sean and all my soul mates at the 2 conferences, I have been feeling less hopeful and lacking of purpose recently. Your blog brought my life back into focus and the soul plans that have been made for me. Thank you, friend!

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      I know Joy… getting home is a challenge when we have been surrounded by so much love and understanding…and being to talk about our children so openly for two weekends at the conferences. Write to Sean…see what comes.
      I loved seeing you…and thank you for all your help! <3 xox

  • Key
    Reply

    Sara, what a beautiful gift and reminder from Scott! I believe from the absolute core of my being that they don’t leave us, but what sweet, precious blessings those little “personalized reminders” are… as we walk through this life, each of us doing our best to “push back and see around the blinders”!
    Thank you for sharing this exquisite moment of awe and joy..
    Love you!
    XOX
    ❤️
    Key

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      Oh my, thank you Key… You said that so beautifully. You know of what we write…and I’m so happy for you for your own exquisite moments of joy. I hope you’re doing well sweet friend. xox

  • Narelle Friar
    Reply

    Thank you – seems our boys brought me here via Facebook.
    My son took himself home January 2016 – I am like a cork bobbing on the waves – looking, looking….

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      Dear Narelle.. Yes, it does feel that way. Bobbing on the waves. But you are searching for answers and in doing that you begin to find a word or two or something more that flows through you to slow the bobbing… The waves and the crushing truth are what push us to find others on that wave too. I hope you will continue to read and search and know that our children and all loved ones are working along side us to show us the way. We have individual paths, but we have much in common too. Thinking of you… xox

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