Grief Wisdom… How do you see this?

Nothing can change the fact that my child or my loved one died. Nothing

What do I do now?

Is that the question we all must ask…at least 100,000 times?

Who am I? Where are you? Can I see you still? Can I hear you still? What can I do to not feel this horrendous pain and how deeply I miss you??

Questions…with so few answers.

I’ve lived this for twenty years…

And I’ve seen a lot, heard a lot, read tons of material on grief, written my own thoughts, meditated, created, asked the 100,000 questions…

I see more now.


I now know I was meant to.

Does that sound arrogant? I hope not. I do not ever want to be or sound arrogant. I’ve seen that…and it taught me…to not go there…

I am always the student… and sometimes the teacher. I want to learn… I needed to learn… I had to learn.

This grief journey which I now know is my soul journey in this lifetime has taken me places I don’t ever want to go to again. But, you know what? I learned while I was there…embedded, immersed in pain and misery and fear…and SO MUCH more.

I also know LOVE was there…

Because of all this…I feel I have something I call grief wisdom.

The journey I took pushed me to learn…to grapple with pain and uncertainty and all that came…and forced me to seek answers…and ultimately hope and healing.

Did I want hope? Did I seek healing? Not really… I wanted the pain and anguish that encased me in that place of unknowns to go away. GO AWAY!

My joinery~journey is like yours and then totally not like yours… but what we do have in common is the immense need to connect with our loved ones…and in my case…Scott.

In 1994, I did not know about connections like we do today. It was not openly spoken about…signs, visitation dreams, orbs, finding things, beautiful messages of the most unique kinds… Hardly even written about.

So my grief journey was one of great discovery when I did receive a “sign” from Scott, or saw him in my dreams… I was always caught off guard…never frightened… But shocked….and I mean shocked with that gleeful surprise that many of you know….and intrigue. How can this happen??

I had no expectation of what might come from Scott…I only knew of what came to me.  Remember, 1994… No Facebook to share or read of the possibilities of connecting with our loved ones. On my own…except for my grief counselor who miraculously was very open to what I was sharing with her…and validated, not ever diminishing what I was experiencing. Thank God.

Scott needs to share with me and you about all this…the signs and all he brought me after his death…to help us understand…more.

Scott Spirit ~

I have known my my mom’s soul plan from the moment I left this earth. I see it detail to detail and year to year…her entire journey. All in Spirit are as aware as I am…so your loved ones know you and your journey too.

WE do this work to connect with you…or not connect…to confuse sometimes and to open up your thinking in new ways….and of course to reassure you of our love.

Earth is that place of learning. Life teaches… You all know this. Death is the teacher of more than anyone can really understand…until you begin to see more…and more…and more.

And WE used the term grief wisdom for Mom/Sara in this blog because the wisdom that came to her through this long and arduous, truly meaningful grief experience is tremendously valuable…and needs to be shared.

She never ever thought our life and death journey would be shared in a blog titled “Death Teaches”.

Oh no…she had to learn to write and bring OUR words through to you.

Has Sara’s death knowledge exceeded what others know?

There is much speculation on what happens in death, with the Other Side, near death experiences, the science of after death communication, the brain and it’s ability to receive messages or hear loved ones. Mediums and psychic abilities… Who can you believe?

WE are bringing you another voice…through this blog. Something more to contemplate, take in… or throw away as not possible or viable…or you’re not ready for it yet.

Sara was born into this life to be all she has been and will be. You too…

No one can ever know what their life will bring. All the planning you may do can be dashed by one experience. You know that…now.

You have had to learn that life is unpredictable…cruel…beyond painful… And yet still filled with LOVE.

What a strange collection of words… But you know they all go together. You are on a journey of trying to balance your love with all the other emotions and feelings you are going through, aren’t you?

Mom/Sara had to too. Such a complicated life into greater knowing she has walked…and continues to.

Because she and I…Sara and Scott planned …PLANNED this lifetime together before we were born… This is her journey. Our journey. Could she have ever foreseen her path…my death…her pain…her new reality?

Never…it unfolds as it unfolds. Just like yours…

So why would she be the one who can hear Scott so easily…after MANY years of hard grief work? Planned. Her life was to move into new uncharted territory about six years ago…

Has it been all you might think? Well, the love of Scott and hearing ME has been miraculous she would tell you. MIRACULOUS. The steps to getting where she is today…all planned…were for her to be opened to new ways of seeing life and death… Working within this new world of Spirit for Mom has been hard, hard, work. Confusing and more confusing…until the answers could come to her.

She has persevered…and her husband Jay too (in his own confusion of spiritual workings).

WHY? She asked many times. Why me? Why is all this happening to me? You are scaring me Scott…and then filling me with incredible unconditional love…

Some journeys are meant to stretch someone beyond their knowing…way beyond…to teach and guide and teach and guide…on this topic of death and the afterlife and after death communication.

WE needed you to know this today…and as Mom/Sara is typing she has goosebumps all over and a knot in her stomach knowing we WILL send this out. Because, it truly is all about LOVE.

How have others been able to teach you with greater wisdom and knowing? …Through their own experiences…and their new knowings…their pain…their wisdom…their soul plan…to teach and guide and open others up to something that was never known before. This has been going on throughout all lifetimes since the beginning of time. They are teachers. You read their words and you are changed or validated or opened up in new ways to something valuable or needed…inspired.

In this lifetime, Sara and Scott, as boldly as this seems today…are teachers of the afterlife. If you have been following our blog for awhile…you may know this. If you just found us…please go to our blog’s archives and read from the beginning to have a greater understanding of our joinery together. Our journey…

More next week… WE will open up to more of Sara’s journey and her new reality to help you understand more about your own. It is deep and it is beautiful and it may be just what you have needed…to understand more about how death and life teach…you.

Love, love, love.
Sara and Scott Spirit

Showing 16 comments
  • Linda Recht

    Dear Sara,
    Thank you or sharing the wisdom you have gained from your grief and from Scott. It has been amazing to see all of this unfold for you in the time I have known you. You know how much you’ve helped me and many, many others. I had a dream Wednesday night that validated once again that Barry’s spirit is still here with me. I’ll tell you about it when I see you.
    Love to you and Scott!

    • Sara Ruble

      Oh Linda…I am so happy to hear you had a dream with Barry! All this hard work we do shows us more and that is why we must keep pushing through the pain… Love is forever and I know this for certain…after twenty years with Scott in Spirit. Love to you my dear friend.

  • Jennifer

    Sara and Scott: So touches my heartstrings! I, too, feel my son, Colin, is my greatest teacher and we are on this grief journey together. Thank you for putting it so clearly into words what I feel in my heart. I am so fortunate to have found your beautiful blog. Thank you, Love, Jennifer

    • Sara Ruble

      I am so happy for you too Jennifer, that you know that Colin is on this journey with you! We can never know what will come day in and day out…but to KNOW his love and presence remains…is healing and hopeful in ways we could not have seen early on. We begin to trust in that which we cannot see…and then we see more. I’m so glad our words are helping you… Love, love. Sara

  • Patricia

    This week while getting my monthly pedicure a sing from the group CHICAGO resounded through the music channel. It is one I play frequently in my car that reminds me of my son……the drummer. I KNEW it was his way of saying, “I’m with you Mom on your journey.” And… has been new territory as all of you know.

    • Sara Ruble

      Oh yes Patricia! Music is an amazing way for our children and loved ones to connect with us. And when you heard that song you KNEW it was your son connecting with you for that message. When we have the awareness that love flows to us from the Other Side to reassure us…we are able to find greater meaning in our journey. Thank you for sharing… Trust love! Sara

  • Ellie Braun-Haley

    Sara, sorry …without realizing i unsubscribed! That was me thinking I was clcking on to read the story and instead I was actually clicking unsubscribe. I leap for before I examine closely!!! Oh dear I resubscribed!

    I wanted to tell you, ” When my son spoke to me three months after his death i heard his voice, I felt his presence and I could smell his favorite after shave. I was attending a funeral and as people filed out, Jason spoke to me.
    When I first told my very best friend of this event , I began to second guess what had happened. So I said: “maybe the scent of Polo was coming from someone else.” Then I said, “maybe I imagined he was standing next to me.”
    But what my friend said was , “stop, don’t do that. Don’t second guess Accept what you first felt!” I have found over the years saying those exact same words to other grieving mothers! Because we are traveling a pathway that is not the norm, we start to doubt ourselves, our own ears, our eyes, our senses!

    Now even with a dream, when we wake up initially we KNOW that we were just receiving an important message. I believe that is likely the Holy Ghost confirming what we felt. SOme would say that is our intuition. WHat is intuition? I have begun to think over the years that God’s hand is in our lives much more than we realize. After all he is a loving Father!

    I have at least three dreams a night and seldom are they messages, but when I wake up after receiving a message, I feel it is a message! So right there I accept it and cherish it!

    I am so grateful Scott is on this journey with you. What a marvelous blessing that he is with you and what a blessing that your husband accepts all that is happening.

    Bless you for writing this journey! Bless Scott for being there for you and speaking!

    Ellie Braun-Haley

    • Sara Ruble

      Oh Ellie…thank you! The blog reminder went out in a crazy way that confused all of us. I’m glad you found your way back!

      Your words and experiences are so powerful…such a validation for us all of what can happen with our loved ones in Spirit…and our being earthly beings. I too, have learned to trust what comes to me and what feels, feels, feels meaningful, profound, even unbelievable. The more of us who share our experiences…the greater the awareness grows in others. We are never alone on this journey…and we are being shown that in magnificent ways.

      I love your words..Let Your Light Shine!
      Much love,

  • Sharon Tahaney

    Thank you for these words. I lost my son, Mitchell, 8 months ago in a horrible car accident. I was blessed with a dream one month later – he was looking at me and I stared into his beautiful, brown eyes and felt his face. I woke up feeling I had just been visited by my son. Then a dream of him driving an army tanker – relaxed and in control. I sat on top saying, “I’ve not been trained for this.” My other son sat beside me on top of the tanker. I felt again this was a message from Mitch. I’m driving this — I’m relaxed and in control. It may feel like a battle you’re now in, but you have been trained for this.” I know in my heart that God’s amazing grace trained me even though I never imagined this. Then two nights ago, he was in my dream again. He spoke for the first time. He said, “Momma, I’m coming home soon.” I said, But, Mitch, you’re not really here. His father then told me not to say that to him, so then I just hugged him and he was immensely happy about the plans he was making. I’m not sure the complete message of this, but I did wake up feeling the joy of just being with him again and seeing him happy. Mitch taught me so much in life, and now he is leading me into lessons I never wanted to learn, but are shaping me in ways that I know are expanding my heart and mind.. God’s hand is over all this.

    • Sara Ruble

      Dear Sharon, You’re having such amazing, beautiful dreams visits as Mitch connects with you in his ways. I love what you know his message said to you, “I’m driving this…relaxed and in control…” I have learned that Spirit~God is in control of our journeys in ways we could never have known before. You are taking all this in with love Sharon, and understanding Mitch’s messages so well.

      Thank you for sharing. I learn from you and everyone who writes us. It’s a big picture place where our children and loved ones are…and their unconditional love will show us the way. Love, love.

  • Sheryl Sazza

    Dear Sara, Thank you to you and Scott for continuing to do your blog and teach us all that there is always Hope and we are here to learn something. Everything comes back to love and I have no doubt, our loved ones are right beside us along for the journey. Unfortunately, I haven’t had a dream with Michael for a while which saddens me but I have to keep hope and asking him to please come to me in a dream. We just celebrated his 21st birthday. Very hard day. Dream visitations are just the best. They instill in me the hope to go on for another day, another week, etc. Thank you again Sara and Scott. <3

    • Sara Ruble

      Oh,I so understand Sheryl…about all you wrote. I never could know when any signs would come from Scott. It seemed to me on the hardest of all days, he would show me he was with me. That happened only once.

      Michael, Scott, all our children and loved ones are teaching us in ways that we cannot always understand … They know us so well…more than we’ll ever be able to know while in the body. It is so clear to them what we need, the experiences we must go through in this lifetime, those we need to meet along the way to show us the way, and what not to do…TO GROW. I have learned this…and Scott confirms… Pain teaches us. Confusion pushes us to learn more. This is not a simple journey of the heart…it is DEEP and filled with Love.

      Trust in the bigger picture I know you are learning about Sheryl…and that you WILL know more when it is time. My heart goes out to you and everyone struggling with this. I hope my journey can help open up something new for you to lean on…

      And perhaps Sheryl…just trust Michael will come in all the ways you need and when… He knows…
      Love to you. Sara


    Dear Sara, I always look forward to your weekly blog with your son Scott as I continue to learn what death teaches me in my journey without my precious sons. Just wanted to also say how thankful I am that there are so many grief groups through the internet and that I was able to connect with other parents in those groups and connect with you and your son by your deathteaches blog! I am positive my son is helping me meet people who can help me in my life journey and steering me in the right direction towards healing! Finding signs, having dream visits, and believing that anything is possible with those signs has helped tremendously throughout the years without my sons. I am extremely blessed with a husband by my side who believes as I do in ALL the signs of love received from our sons! Thank you again Sara and Scott… xxx Deborah

    • Sara Ruble

      Thank you Deborah. Your words match mine in so many ways! You are seeking out help, trusting in your son and his meaningful messages…and feeling gratitude which helps pull so much of this together. When we are unable to see that this journey is truly teaching us and taking us places we never thought we could go (even those really hard places), taking the time to see where we have traveled thus far, who we have met, what we have learned…and have gratitude…we find balance… And that is a big part of the grief journey. Thank you, thank you Deborah. xox

  • Bren Lewis

    I had a dream visit with Taylor my son, my mom and dad grandma and grampa, it was truly breathtaking…. I want more more more…. Why is it so infrequent, when the visits are so satisfying and happy. ?

    • Sara Ruble

      I’m so happy you’ve experienced a dream visit Bren… Yes, so extraordinary. Again…everything comes in Spirit’s perfect timing…for your own unique journey. And…P.S. we all want more. 🙂 xox

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