Death Came

Who Am I?

I am Sara Ruble…a mom from Ohio.

I am Scott’s mom.

Scott died at nineteen…so suddenly that my life has never been the same…nor could it be.

Grief is the hardest thing I will ever endure…this I know for certain.

I also know it taught me a whole lot…about life, about LOVE, about death, about myself, about pain, about spirituality, about seeking help in the most incredulous time of my life, about not giving up…and possibly a million other things.

I could never have known who I really am today…without that most devastating and grief filled time of my life.

Yes…

I trust if you are reading this…you may know what I am talking about.

When I was young I did not know much about life. Who really can? I had great parents, two wonderful brothers and a best friend sister…and a dog, Schultzie.

I became an elementary school teacher, a wife, then a very grateful stay at home mom when Scott was born…and in time, a sales rep for Maybelline Cosmetics.

Life brought me challenges for sure…but I knew that life did that. The good and the bad, the hard and the simple, the pain and the healing…the bright moments…and those that made me want to crawl under the covers and hide forever.

It’s all life.

 And then Scott died

Nothing prepared me for his death. …Or the missing, or the wailing, or the agonizing heartache and pain day after day after day.

It’s a journey of the heart and soul… Heartache, pain, love, desperation, courage…But now I can honestly tell you… I know more.

Through the years and very hard work…

I will share those insights and much more with you in time.

In the meantime…I want you to know this… Scott is helping me write this blog. I have to be up front with you.

I got a sign from him the day after his funeral in 1994…and there was no doubt in mind that Scott had somehow sent me a message from heaven.  Heaven

I gasped through my sobs that morning…because I knew it was from him.

I promise I’ll explain more tomorrow….

 

Showing 2 comments
  • Jackie
    Reply

    My son died almost 3 years ago, my husband died 15 years ago (we had been married 30 years). I agree, grief is the worst thing to happen to us. I have a little granddaughter that was born with 1 1/2 arteries to her heart and had open heart surgery at 11 months and has had tons of stints, her life expectancy is not good. My grandson has diabetes with no pancreas function and I worry constantly about his kidneys and everything else associated with diabetes. I have only one child left, my other son and his nerves are so bad from all this he has gained a ton of weight and I am so afraid of loosing him. I have no one else, I will be alone. I was so glad to find you and I am praying that what you write will help me. Thank you

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      Dear Jackie…I hope we can help you too. I know from what Scott teaches us that our lives are filled with experiences that may create almost too much to bear…in our humanness…but spiritually we are growing in ways we cannot yet see. Because we cannot see the meaning behind everything that comes to us in this lifetime…we are forced to seek more answers…to reach out for help and find greater understanding of these incredibly difficult experiences. And through that comes growth…compassion…an understanding of what others must endure as well. You are a powerful soul on this earth…please don’t ever forget that. xoxo

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