A Lifeline
How can I survive this life without Scott?
This life, my life…was changed forever on May 20, 1994.
The love of my life, the focus of my love and attention for nineteen amazing years was this child. He made me a mom.
I did not think I would or could survive Scott’s death. At times…I wanted out more than I wanted to be here.
…Life somehow pushed me…forward.
It wasn’t ever easy…but honestly, there were
beautiful and truly incredible moments weaved in throughout the years.
I knew more had to exist…
By more…I mean that Scott was showing me he was aware of me…and my actions…and my pain. He was letting me know.
This is when MORE began…
That morning after his funeral I got out of bed, so exhausted, hopeless, and sleepless. …Somehow I felt I needed to write a letter of thanks to our community for the immense love and compassion shown to us during Scott’s calling hours and funeral. I would send to it our local newspaper.
I made my way downstairs to a cupboard that still held Scott’s notebook paper from high school. It was the best paper I thought, to write the rough draft of this heart breaking and heartfelt letter. Besides, it was the only paper I could think of at that moment…and it was Scott’s.
As I reached into the plastic packaging I pulled out two pieces of paper.
To my shock…one of the pieces had a printed poem on it. I had never seen the poem before…and here it was in my hands.
As I read each word…I began to sense that this poem was from…Scott!
Each line took me closer to that knowing…
The last line read “…it won’t be long until that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that bound you together and soar…as it was meant to soar… Free and Alone”.
I gasped…
I was beyond shocked…
How? Could this be??? From Scott??
I ran back upstairs and blurted out to my husband Jay… “Could this be a message…from Scott? Look at these words!”
I cannot even describe my emotions… From the nightmare of my life to a most perfect sign, Scott had brought me this gift…in the notebook paper package! How did it ever get in there?
My head was absolutely reeling…
It was so perfect…and yet I could not know how powerful that poem would be for me…
My life…never to be the same again…was opened up to the most raw days that followed. But…this beautiful poem was always nearby to remind me that there had to be something more… I was so, so grateful… And I somehow hung on.
Yes, it was a mystery…
But it was a message.
Can these mysterious happenings…that come in their own timing…not ours…bring us a greater knowing and meaning in the deaths of our loved ones?
Absolutely…
Please join us…
There is more…
Two weeks after my Scott died I was reading my personal email, mostly deleting ads. I deleted one from Spotify because I had no idea what Spotify was at the time. Something inside me made me retrieve that email and when is opened it I saw a picture of my son and a button that said “listen.” I clicked the button and the song “Somewhere Out There” played. As a child he loved American Tale and this song. The reason his picture was there is because one if his friends changed her FB profile page to his picture after his death. I contacted her and asked if she sent the email and she said she had not, although she had listened to the song because she loved it. I believe with all my heart that this was a sign. He wanted me to know that he was “Somewhere Out There” and we will be together again.
It is such a perfect sign Lauren! Just knowing and trusting Scott can message you in ways like this is what helps healing begin in new ways. The connection IS THERE…and you now know that. I know each sign is life changing in its own way. I’m so happy Scott showed you he is with you… Thank you for sharing… Sending love…
It was 5 months after my grandson Matthew was killed in a tragic car accident that I was in my car on the road and talking to him. I was on my way to an address I had never been to before and I was asking Matthew to show me a sign of angels to know that he was truly with me. Ten minutes down the road I turned into a parking lot and was looking for suite number 201. I turned left and to my left was the name of the office building “Angels Senior Living. ” I never knew it was there and I started to cry. My Matthew was there with me. I sure do miss his physical presence but I did know he is around us. It will be a year June 1, 2016 and I know I will see signs of him. It so hurts to see that the light has gone from my daughters eyes and I cannot fix this for her.
Dear Carolyn, Thank your sharing your incredible sign from Matthew. I know how important every connection we have is… They teach us to trust in the afterlife. Our children, grandchildren and loved ones are with us and so aware of our days and activities. Sending you love as June 1 approaches. How hard it must be to see your daughter and know you cannot “fix” her. Trust the journey, Matthew, and love… We are never alone. xoxo