Death Comes

Let me introduce myself…

My name is Sara…

I’m a mom…

And this blog is not like any other blog.

Because…

I talk about death every day

I must talk about death. You see, my only child, Scott, died. Died.

I know for some of you…this may be hard to take in…

But for some of you…we are in the same place

I have been working on my grief for about twenty years…

It seems like a long time, doesn’t it? …Except that …I really have been working on it…

What does that mean?

Working on it… My grief work…

Minutes, hours, days, months, years of…searching for Scott…seeking answers to unanswerable questions…desperate for help…reading…searching for peace…studying spirituality…living with pain…counseling…going deeper…surviving…and so much more…

My life was forever changed, shattered…unrecognizable.

How could this happen? WHY? Where is he? Help me!!

And then I found…no one could help me when it came to the real answers about death and dying.

The answers were vague…or guesses…or uncertain.

My grief consumed me…day and night…whether I had those answers or not.

…But I could not give up the need to know.

I’m certain I am not alone in seeking out answers about life and death. I’ve met hundreds of parents and others who are bereaved and we are all desperate for more

It’s so mysterious…

Death creates immense pain for those of us missing our loved ones.

What can we believe?

I wanted facts. I craved the truth…

I know it’s time we start talking about death…so we are not avoiding the truth about life.

We will die…sometime. We know that for certain.  Each of us is born…and we will…die.

I’d rather know something…than nothing…

It’s easier to avoid talking about death…until it takes our loved ones.

For me…it is Scott.

My amazing nineteen year old son…who died suddenly in his sleep…a thousand or so miles away from home…

 So, you see…I must talk about death.

Are you ready?

Think it over…I’ll be back tomorrow.

Showing 4 comments
  • Marti
    Reply

    A great start! You are well on your way…

  • Kathy Gautsch
    Reply

    Sara – this is incredible — just like YOU! I’ve been on this journey with you at my side for many years and your words DEEPLY moved and touched me. You will make a huge impact on the many bereaved parents that need your insight and inspiration. Love you!

  • Lauren Mendes
    Reply

    I lost my firstborn son, Scott, 16 months ago when he was 35 years old. He left behind a beautiful wife and two young daughters, ages 6 and 7 at the time. Your first post resonates with me …. I am probably not ready, but will be back.

    • Sara Ruble
      Reply

      Yes Lauren… We find our way through this somehow…by seeking out what works for us now…and knowing there is more when we need it. I’m glad you found our blog. My heart goes out to you… xox

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